Wednesday, July 7, 2010

New Beginnings? New Opportunities?

The drama in my life continues...I've finished school and pretty much have made the decision not to go back to the school divison i was working for or apply for any more jobs there.  Why?  Without being unprofessional, I think it's time I move on.  I don't necessarily follow some of their beliefs, and while there is hurt, there's also the realization that my passion can't really met by this school division anymore.  That's hard to say.  My dream for a long time was to be a teacher in this division until retirement.  This was the division that I as a student went to since the age of 10.  In some ways, I feel like it's like a knife in my heart, but I also feel that it's up to me to remove it and move on.  One friend said the statement, you need to be able to say when enough is enough.  It's enough.

Meanwhile, saying all this, it's a very trying time for me.  I feel beaten and let down and not sure of the future.  I don't know how I'm even going to make my bills for next month.  I'm hoping for E.I., but that's not been confirmed yet, and needless to say, I've learned to not trust E.I.  I am looking for work in the meantime, whatever that might be.  I refuse to lie down and play dead.

Times like these, you learn who your friends truly are.  I've been learning for the past while that I've had a couple people in my life who have used me and used our friendship.  The truth is I'm tired of having that kind of relationship.  I am such a giving person, but I refuse to be used anymore.  I don't know.  I don't know what they see our friendship as, but they certainly haven't been there. 

So, I'm struggling but life goes on.  I know I need to put my faith in God for all of this.

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