Sunday, June 27, 2010


So, I taught my class how to make dreamcatchers the other day as a part of celebrating Aboriginal Day. We started the afternoon with Indian Tacos made by the Bannock Hut (they make the best bannock) for the whole school, followed by traditional dancing performed by a few of our students and then the dreamcatchers (for my grade). I've included one picture that doesn't show any faces (just to respect my students' privacy), where they invited all up for an intertribal dance...

I can't take all the credit though for the dreamcatchers though because a few of the students had made them before, but they turned out very good! In our school, there are a group of people who aren't comfortable with traditional things, so I was missing a handful of students.

When explaining the dreamcatchers, I said to the students that it's up to them to choose what they believe about them. They can choose for them to be a pretty decoration or more. I had quite a few choose colors of the medicine wheel, and then i had some others choose some funky colors...I have loved my job and I'm going to miss it there!

Friday, June 25, 2010

One Door Closes, Another to Open????

So while I've mentioned before (I believe), I've been laid off for the end of June. I wasn't able to obtain a job in the division, and I think that I'm finaly alright for that, for reasons known only to a select few. I feel that at this time, maybe I just need to move on.

Due to a car on the brink of death, I've been extremely limited in my applications for employment. Maybe there's a reason for that too.I don't know.

Then, on top of that, both of my pugs have been diagnosed as having pigmentary kerititis-basically, they have an eye disease that has the potential to rob them of their sight, if it hasn't already done some of that already. They're both on medication and hopefully, they'll respond well to the medication. The medication only prevents the disease from spreading-it doesn't restore sight that's been lost. We have our follow up appointment tomorrow with our vet, so it's a ride into the city. I'm doing okay with it all, but it's still been hard to swallow that both boys are dealing with this. The medication is three times a day-and I think in the end, going to be pretty costly. They're worth it though. We're also going to stop at the pet store and look for some doggles-they're supposed to help, so I'll give you more info tomorrow about our trip!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Wasting Time

I am wasting time even though I desperately need to go to bed...why? Because I don't really relish the thought of getting up in the morning to go to work. Honestly, I am burnt out and not by my students-by politics and decisions. I just need a break, and even when I do get my summer vacation, well, I need to find work. I'm not complaining, but I do really hope to at least get a week off.

I'm hoping and keeping my fingers crossed and my mind open to new possibilities. I'm trying to focus on the positive, be around people who lift me up, and use this time to really look at myself...such as what do i really want in the longterm? What drives me? What do I need to possibly even change?

I'm just quite scared though...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


So I'm feeling relieved (about 98%)...I didn't get one job that I applied for.  I didn't really want this job-nothing against the job, but I really didn't want the driving that accompanied it.  It was A LOT.  The job description itself wasn't something that interested me much either.  At the same time, I want a job, but I think I was willing to say no.  See it wasn't just driving to and from the job, it was also driving another 40 km on my lunch hour as it was divided between two places...that's the part I didn't like.  Have you ever experienced Manitoba highways and gravel roads come winter???  I tell you, you learn to drive in our weather, you become an amazing driver!  So yah, truth be told, I'm relieved-'cause I would have said no.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Secrets and Lies

Lately a few secrets have been coming out...nothing too bad, but things that I didn't share as I didn't really think were worth sharing, for various reasons.  Surprisingly enough, it's a relief.  I feel like I have more support, and I'm doing okay with all.  However, just because I might have revealed it to my family, doesn't mean that I'm ready to reveal it to the world!

It's been a rough time lately in all ways.  You know how you can get suckerpunched all at once by a host of things?  Well, that's kind of what it's been like.  I'm doing okay, but I'm absolutely exhausted!  Sometimes, I hate being a grown up...but then i also don't know if i'd want the pressures of being a kid again!

I'm pretty good at putting on the false front-those are the lies...they're as much for me though, as they are for other people.  Sometimes, I just can't deal with reactions from other people (such as the current job situation).  I pretend that I'm okay to those around me that I really don't have a lot of interaction with, but those who know me well, know how much it's killing me.  I had an interview, and apparently, my references were phoned the other day, so that's good...there's still promise and hope.  I haven't necesarily lost hope in the future, it's more that i'm not trusting the present.  I think it's all starting to show though-the facade is cracking.  I can't take certain people's bs without me getting a little bitchy, which really isn't me. 

On top of it all, I need to figure out things with my car.  I was supposed to go to an awesome concert in thOne bay, but due to being scared of bad roads and massive thunderstorms, I pulled out.  My car is on its last wings and it's gonna blow soon.  One more stress that I hope will see itself through...

I have so much to be grateful though, I really do and I know I need to concentrate on that.  There's so much out there to be thankful for-my dogs, my closest friends, my mom , and stepdad and nanas, my yard, my home, my health (which is hanging in there!), and even the fact that i'm still finding jobs to apply for.  That's good.  See?  I have a lot going for me...I just need to remind myself in the low moments how blessed I am.